Thursday, August 18, 2005

Have this - "Leli"!

The key word is always Leli. Especially in the corporate world, there is nothing more important than the Leli word.

It is therefore time now to ask yourself a simple question. "Did I Leli someone today?"

If yes, good. If no, you haven't moved up sufficiently in life yet.

Progress is measured by how many people you Leli each day. Sub-ordinates,
vendors, partners. Sometimes customers, bosses and investors too.

Note the clear and logical implication of the slogan. Your tempo is high, when you Leli someone else. If you are not Leli-ing sufficiently, you are the one likely to be Leli-ed by someone.
In your office, you can clearly see a co-relation between a person's importance and his Leli Monthly Index (LMI).

The LMI is given by the formula :

(sigma of [the number of people you Leli x number of times you Leli each of them in a month]) divided by
(sigma of [the number of people who Leli you x number of times they Leli you in a month])

(Note: the numerator/denominator is taken as 1 if it turns out to be zero.)

For a Weight Adjusted LMI:
You can take a multiplying factor of 1 for Leli-ing sub-ordinates, vendors and partners
and a multiplying factor of 2 for customers, bosses and investors.

An LMI of above 10 is considered healthy for your heart and back. Mainly
because you are so good at leli-ing now that you can play tennis, chase hemlines at Forum, and generally indulge in similar healthy pastimes, unlike others with a low LMI who play the corporate rat-race, chase deadlines and generally indulge their backs on that badly designed office chair.

Further, it is a good idea to measure your LMI and compare it to that of your boss. If your LMI is higher than that of your boss, I would not want to be your boss for sure.
Following are estimates of Weight Adjusted LMIs for various people:

- The common man 0.01

- Rajesh Gupta 0.002
(Got the least salary hikes, on bench, did the max work and worst employee rating
Hai koi shaksh na koi duja
Hai aksar uska muh suja sujta
M
ain puch kya hai bhai ?
Usne kaha
My dear boy "I am Rajesh Gupta" !
)

- PR Rajesh 100
(did the least work and got the maximum salary hikes, got the best Employee rating goes to gym,joggin ,bars, pubs music classes and (if time permits) to office, had a new girlfriend every Saturday)
Rabin - 0.0000001
(Works in office. Works in home.But despised, ostarcised ,circumcised everywhere. The culprit is PR rajesh who increases his own LMI by Leli-ing him and the problem is Rabin thinks PR is his best friend. PR shaggin in his bed was caught live on video which further decreased Rabins LMI )

- MBA in an IT Company
50
(he does regular leli to his boss and the customer, therefore he gets a really high Weight Adjusted LMI, the massive crowds on Brigade Road chasing hemlines is a testimony to the Leli-ing success of Software industry MBA's in Bangalore)

- Software Project Manager 0.1
(gets leli-ed by all his software developer sub-ordinates and by the customer besides by his boss even as he chases deadlines all alone.)

- Consultant 1
(actually you may be wondering why I have put such a low figure given that consultants of all varieties can leli everybody and can never be leli-ed by anybody since they do not have to do any real work. But then have you seen a consultant play tennis or whiling away his time on MG Road? No. You always see them hurrying about, working long hours etc. The funda is simple. The consultant achieves his Leli success by leli-ing himself. For every Leli he scores, he has to commit an equal self-leli.)

- Small Investor 0.5 (for every rupee he makes, he loses two)

- Jayalalitha 1.5 billion (50 million Tams x 30 days)
- LalooPrasad 1 Zillion (30 million biharis x 365 days x 20 years)

So, if you want to progress in life, remove that Britney Spears wallpaper from your desktop and put a chart showing your LMI over a period of time. Stare at it for four hours each day. That kind of time wasted will leli your boss, clocking sufficient leli-points for you. That way, you may even have time to play tennis in future - after you are chucked out from your job.

Happy Leli-ing!

Friday, August 05, 2005

Things to do.

Yet again, too many things happening at the same time.
New recruits - Their work - Their acclimatization - Travel Plans to Bangalore - Travel plans to meet clients all across India - Going home - Contacting companies - Law profiles - Law course - Passport - US War Games trip - Upcoming Birthdays - Pondicherry - Yercaud - Emails - Fee-mails.

Hmmmffff!!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Fight Club - The Return of Hobbes

Hobbes is reborn as Tyler to save "Jack" (a grown-up Calvin) from the slough of un-comic despair.

In the film Fight Club, the real name of the protagonist (Ed Norton’s character) is never revealed. Many believe the reason behind this anonymity is to give "Jack" more of an everyman quality. Do not be deceived. "Jack" is really Calvin from the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. It’s true. Norton portrays the grown-up version of Calvin, while Brad Pitt plays his imaginary pal, Hobbes, reincarnated as Tyler Durden.

Part I: The Hobbes-Tyler Connection

Picture this: a hyper, self-absorbed child initially concocts an imaginary friend as the ideal playmate, to whom more realistic qualities soon become attributed. This phantasm becomes a completely separate personality, with his own likes, dislikes, and temperament—and the imaginer and the imagined clash and argue constantly, though remaining fast friends. This pattern continues to the point where the child begins to perceive what was originally mere fantasy to be reality.

Just as Calvin has an imaginary jungle-animal friend named Hobbes, whom everyone else believes to be nothing but a stuffed toy, "Jack" in Fight Club has an imaginary cool-guy friend named Tyler, whom no one but Jack can see.

In both cases, the entity that began as the ideal companion soon took on a more realistic, three-dimensional quality. In other words, they became real. This is evident in that both Hobbes and Tyler also began to function as scapegoats for their creators. For instance, consider that Calvin often blames broken lamps and other assorted household mischief on Hobbes, and that Jack is inclined to believe that Fight Club and other various anti-society mischief is brought about by Tyler, not himself. Calvin claims Hobbes pounces on him every day after school; Jack believes Tyler beats him up next to 40 kilotons of nitroglycerin in a parking garage—the list goes on and on. The relationships between the two sets of friends are the exact same. Is this mere coincidence?

Filling in the time-gap between Calvin and Jack, we can imagine the story as something like this: Once Calvin reaches the hostile environment known as the seventh grade, the constant teasing from the other students and the frustrated concern of his parents finally becomes too much, and a reluctant, disillusioned Calvin is finally forced to grow up, or at least begin to. This decision is sealed by one of the hardest things young Calvin will ever have to do in his life: un-imagine Hobbes, an act which to Calvin is essentially no different from murder. After being Calvin’s best friend for over a decade, Hobbes is packed away in a box, or tossed carelessly into a garbage bag, perhaps even stuffed under the same bed that once contained so many monsters. This is all, of course, very painful for Calvin, so much so that he represses it all in shame. Little does Calvin suspect that while he is busy growing up, deciding what "dinette set defines him as a person," Hobbes is also maturing in the recesses of his mind, waiting to be unleashed at an appropriate time.

It’s worth noting that during these twenty or so years, Hobbes never bears a grudge against Calvin nor wishes any ill upon him. Hobbes, remembering the depth of their past friendship, does not hate Calvin but rather hates the society that made Calvin put him away. Hobbes, residing in Calvin’s mind, sees and experiences all that Calvin does—and truly despises all of it. He witnesses a bright, superbly imaginative kid (with a genius-level vocabulary) reduced to nothing more than another nameless cog. Fighting off the tears wept for his conventionalized pal, Hobbes resolves to set Calvin free, paying special attention when Calvin idly looks up homemade-napalm recipes on the Internet.

Flash forward to the timeframe depicted in Fight Club. Calvin/Jack has reached an all-time low. He has done everything society has told him to do but is completely void of happiness. Hobbes, newly adjusted as "Tyler Durden" (after all, grown-up Calvin would no longer accept a jungle animal walking, talking, and eating canned tuna), re-enters Calvin/Jack’s life, determined to show Calvin everything he’s done wrong, whether he likes it or not.

Tyler to Jack: "I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I’m smart, capable, and most importantly, I’m free in all the ways you wish you could be."

Calvin has always idolized Hobbes. In Weirdos From Another Planet, he dresses up like a tiger and attempts to live in the woods. Like Hobbes, Tyler is cool, collected, and incredibly cerebral. Given this evidence, one can conclude that Tyler is Hobbes, reincarnated after being trapped inside Calvin/Jack’s brain for so many years. Just as Calvin is Jack, Hobbes is Tyler.

Part II: Marla Singer—Avatar of Susie Derkins?

Somewhere between the end of high school and beginning of college, uptight, grade-obsessed Susie Derkins lost her way. The pressure to get good grades, the pressure to succeed, simply became too much for her, and she snapped.

Free from the protective bonds of her parents’ guidance and the bland safety of her suburban home, Susie loses her moral bearings entirely and sinks into a dark, seamy, grim world of sex, drugs, and eccentric Albert-Einstein-like hair. Her transformation is so complete that she no longer even remotely resembles the upright citizen that her parents and society wanted her to be: thus, she changes her name.

Like Calvin, Susie has become a misfit, one of society’s lost lambs. It is for this reason that she soon finds herself frequenting support groups such as "Remaining Men Together." Fate has brought her back to Calvin, whom she probably spurned back in junior high. But the two have changed so much that they no longer recognize each other!

The pink dress Marla wears in one scene slightly resembles something that "Binky Betsy," Susie’s favorite childhood doll, once wore: the doll that Calvin stole and attempted to ransom. While Calvin and Susie mostly teased and tortured each other, Hobbes was infatuated with the raven-haired beauty. Accordingly, Jack despises Marla, whereas Tyler takes an *ahem* sort of interest in her (definitely inappropriate for the Sunday Funnies).

When we are first introduced to Marla, she is but a tumor on Jack’s slowly deteriorating world. She is disenfranchised, morbid, socially apathetic—and Jack despises her because she is a mirror image of himself, his own female double. On the other hand, Calvin hates Susie because she is his exact opposite: Bright, obedient, demure—the unruly Calvin has every reason to hate her. However, certain strips definitely infer that Calvin has somewhat of a crush on Susie, and some even imply that Susie shares these latent feelings. But as a cootie-fearing grade-schooler, Calvin may only express these strange feelings through attention-getting antagonisms such as constant snowballs to the head, ransoming her dolls—and through his separate, conveniently more mature other personality—Hobbes.

Unlike Calvin, Hobbes has never been bashful about showing his affection for Susie. Calvin’s imaginary tiger-friend has called her a "cutie," worn swim jams to impress her ("Girls flip for guys in jams"), and even claimed he would betray their club’s secret code if she gave him a tummy rub (which is one of the key differences between Tyler and Hobbes). Naturally, all of this confuses and frustrates Calvin beyond words, even though Hobbes is really nothing more than a product of his own mind! And though Hobbes and Susie never consummated their love for each other (he’s a stuffed tiger and she’s a kid, you sicko!) this is, of course, the exact same deranged love-triangle that is shared between Jack, Tyler, and Marla, or at least a natural progression thereof. Perhaps Marla puts up with Jack/Tyler’s apparent nonsense for so long, because it’s the sort of thing she became used to as a child? And perhaps, in the end, Jack finds solace in Marla because it’s the exact same connection he should’ve made long ago, in his suburban youth. A connection that may have saved them both.

Part III: GROSS—Precursor of Fight Club

When you boil it down, the Fight Club that Jack and Tyler start is really just an odd sort of boys’ club—no ovaries allowed—where men can be men, and the so-called stronger of the sexes can take solace in the fact that, even in our politically correct times, some exclusivities of manhood still remain. (As a side note, imagine how much more controversy the movie would have generated if it involved scenes of men fighting women on equal ground!)

And clubs like this, of course, have their beginnings in backyards, tree houses, and garages all over America. Not surprisingly, Calvin started such a club when he was six years old. Little did anyone realize that he would construct another one much later in his life, again with the aid of an imaginary friend. For just as Calvin, Hobbes, and Susie have dark future versions in Jack, Tyler, and Marla respectively, G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) has the same in Fight Club.

G.R.O.S.S. shares the following characteristics with Fight Club:

  • Both have catchy names (although the "slimy" part of G.R.O.S.S. is redundant, otherwise it doesn’t spell anything).
  • Both are co-run by a friendless male and his imaginary companion (Calvin is Tyrant and Dictator-for-Life; Hobbes is President and First Tiger).
  • Both are exclusively male organizations, although Fight Club’s membership is considerably larger.
  • Along with that, all members of both organizations are very loyal.
  • The leaders of both organizations constantly engage in fisticuffs (but only in G.R.O.S.S. does a member receive a demerit for biting).
  • And in said fights, in both organizations, there is only one fight at a time!
  • Both are supposedly very secretive (though Jack never tells his mother about Fight Club).
  • At least one leader of both organizations is fond of giving speeches (though Calvin never uses the term "space monkey").

G.R.O.S.S. and Fight Club both wreak havoc on their respective neighborhoods (G.R.O.S.S.’s target is considerably more focused, i.e., Susie). Clearly, the roots of Fight Club can be seen in G.R.O.S.S. Calvin shows his penchant for such male-oriented, destructive organizations. Also, just like cardboard-box-time-machines and water-gun-transmogrifiers, G.R.O.S.S. was likely created as an escape, a release—as, of course, was Fight Club.

Part IV: Moe Develops Karmic Bitch-Tits

Robert "Moe" Paulson, Calvin’s grade-school bully, becomes a six-time weight-lifting champion, and somewhere along the line develops large man-boobs as a result of testicular cancer. This of course leads him to his support group, where he is shocked to find Calvin.

Moe greatly regrets his bullying days, but, too ashamed to reveal his true identity to Calvin, he instead offers his ample bosom for him to cry on, as a measure of retribution.

Part V: The Root of Evil

Although we’ve already learned of the fates of Hobbes, Susie, and Moe, there are a couple of other people important to Calvin that are missing. People that are even more integral to his development than (arguably) Hobbes: his parents. Mr . . . uhm . . . , and Mrs . . . uh. . . . Okay, so they don’t have names. But then again, there is no need to know them. Because in the comic strip, they’re not supposed to be important characters in their own right. They only matter in regards to how Calvin is directly effected by them; an effect which, by the time of the film, doesn’t seem to have been very positive. From what "Jack" mentions, he’s not exactly close to his parents, particularly his dad, on whom he seems to pin many of his problems. And this matches perfectly with the relationship depicted in the comic, as well as with what happened afterwards (in Part I).

Calvin’s dad seems to have done quite a number on his son. As stated, it was probably at his urging that Calvin "grew up," that is, finally started to conform to society’s rules, which was the death of Hobbes. Of course, his father wasn’t without his playful side—good-naturedly teasing Calvin at every opportunity—but perhaps this is why "Jack" resents him so much. Maybe after Jack reached the end of his dutiful journey, only to find emptiness, he thought back to the day his father told him that the sun sets down somewhere in Arizona every night. "Maybe," thought Calvin, "maybe ALL of it’s been just another one of Dad’s cruel jokes."

In the "bathtub" scene of Fight Club, "Jack" and Tyler discuss their woeful parents. In this scene, crucial information is revealed, as well as some inconsistencies. "Jack" claims his father left when he was six, an age when Calvin’s dad was obviously still around, but this statement is contradicted soon after, when Tyler mentions his own dad telling him to get married when he was thirty, to which "Jack" responds, "mine said that too." The self-pitying "Jack" is most likely seeking to garner additional sympathy from his newfound friend by making his childhood sound worse than it actually was.

But even more interesting is Tyler’s hostility towards his father: when "Jack" asks him who he would fight, if he could fight anyone, he answers, "I’d fight my father." But, since Tyler is only a figment of Jack’s imagination, we can only assume he’s referring to Jack’s father. And while this hatred would only make sense given that the two are sharing the same brain, why is it that Tyler seems to hate Jack’s father even more vividly than "Jack" himself does? Maybe it’s because Tyler hasn’t forgotten who’s ultimately responsible for the un-imagining that took place years before . . . maybe he’s still not too happy about it . . . and maybe he’s got some pretty good ideas for revenge.

The role of Calvin’s father in all of this is no small one. Other than to "save" Calvin, it’s entirely possible that Tyler’s real motivation for taking down civilization is simply to get back at Calvin’s father. For by destroying the society that forced Calvin into repressing Hobbes, he’s also destroying the society that Calvin’s father, after all, epitomizes. And this of course allows Hobbes an indirect measure of revenge.

Part VI: Calvin—"I Am Jack’s Lost Youth"

Although the personality differences between Calvin in the comic strip and Calvin in the movie are pretty large, it can be explained as easily as taking Id and introducing him to Superego ("Jack" actually seems to have sort of a Super-Superego). Nearly all people go through the same thing when first confronted with the crushing grind of reality. But, as they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall—and in terms of imagination and dreams, Calvin was a giant.

Still, it’s not as though common traits between Calvin-Calvin and Jack-Calvin can’t be identified at all. Besides a preference for imaginary friends over real ones, and an inability to express affection for girls, Calvin has never done well when forced to play by any sort of rules. Take, for instance, his utter inability in any sort of organized sport, compared to his unbridled joy while playing the make-it-up-as-you-go-along "Calvinball." Furthermore, even at age 6 Calvin never exactly thrived in stifling, authoritarian establishments (i.e., school), and he’s always had clashes with authority figures since the strip began (his parents, the doctor, his teacher, Rosalyn)—which actually may have initially planted the seeds for Tyler. Beyond that, his excellent vocabulary and way with words are still with him in the voice-over narration of Fight Club, and his rampant materialism that started with mail-order propeller-beanies ends with yin-yang shaped tables. As for the differences, they can be credited to the demoralizing effect of reality.

In the end, Calvin’s involvement with Fight Club and return of Hobbes can be boiled down to two words: "Personal Responsibility." For although Fight Club and Project Mayhem were both mostly Tyler’s doing, by the end of the movie, Jack readily accepts his own part of the blame, as Tyler is his creation. And by doing so, he also accepts responsibility for the undesirable condition of his own life—his father may have pushed him, but Calvin himself was the one who chose to obey. It is through this newfound self-accountability that Calvin/Jack is able to take control of his own life at last. As skyscrapers flash and crumble in the background, and blood oozes from the bullet hole in his head, Calvin says that he is "okay." And we are apt to believe him.

Part VII: Conclusion

Calvin’s world in the comic strip is pure, romanticized idealism, whereas in the movie, he lives in gray, bleak reality. Within the safety of the panel, Calvin is perpetually six years old, terrible things can never happen, and no matter how crazy a stunt he pulls, everything always returns to status quo. Because of this, our hero is free to do as he wishes, free to chase his dreams as wildly as he desires, never having to worry about tomorrow because there essentially will never be one—unless it’s part of a continuing storyline. This makes the reality of Fight Club all the bleaker, because it depicts what happens when you take someone weaned on dreams and limitless possibilities and jam him into a cramped cage confined by rules and regulations. It probably only took poor Calvin a few years in the adult world (or growing-up world) to fully make the sad change.

This transition from gleeful Calvin to dull "Jack" is not uncommon. Little Nemo became a banker, Peter Pan became a lawyer, and Garfield was caught and butchered by the chef of a Chinese restaurant. (One exception is Charlie Brown, who from all indications was mentally middle-aged at the time of his birth.)

The moral of the story is that reality bites, kiddies. Calvin and Hobbes in Fight Club are proof of this sad, sad truth.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

All the way!

Just an update!

Life's getting along fine. Work, as usual, is interesting, and makes me feel good about myself. The profiles I am looking for are rare, but am sure I'll get someone or the other for the job. If worse comes to worst, doing law all by myself is not a bad option either.

Its been a long time since I was at home. Infact, haven't even been to Bangalore for almost a month now. Gotta make plans to shoot off to Delhi soon.

Boy-o-boy, the projects that are coming up are massive. But they are catchy too! I need to get some "GOOD" people in the firm for sure, to take care of things when I am not around.

And yes, Investment Banking is the need of the hour - got the point. Soon will venture into this as well.

What's that called - expanding your horizons!

Forgot to mention the interesting conversations I have been having these days. Need to stop wasting that much time. What else would you call it if you exchange 448 mails in a day with someone?

Feeling sleepy right now. Ah! Gotta decide which movie to watch tomorrow.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Words of Wisdom - Constanza

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
I mean, life is tough.
It takes up a lot of your time.
What do you get at the end of it? A death.
What's that, a bonus?!?
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!!
Amen.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Girls - Know Guys !

Though I had posted Girl-y crap also, here's for the other sex.
1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and
presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're
not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they
always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad
characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.

12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have
one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!
13. Guys cry!!!

14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this
makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never
mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.

20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer
when they talk to a girl they really like.
21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when
you are asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.
22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the
message clearly.
24. Guys hate gays!

25. Guys love their moms.

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of
roses.
27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't
mean that the guy likes her.
28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of
the earth faster than girls can.
31. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.

32. Guys are very open about themselves.

33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him
wait that long.
34. No guy is bad when he is courting

35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much
pretty.
37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his
problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to
listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get
the wrong one.
43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

45. Guys think too much.

46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!

48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too
possessive. So watch out girls!!!
49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard
for him to let go of that girl.
50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up
especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.
51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved
with that guy.
52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-
been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.
53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a
lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats
with their girlfriends.
56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll
probably see that he is nervous.
57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually
saying "Please come and listen to me"
59. Guys don't really have final decisions.

60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.

62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but
court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure
unless the girl tells him.
67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the
way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.

69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your
advantage.
72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of
rejection.
73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and
you'll be surprised.
74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do
more repelling than attracting guys.
75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is
about girls.
76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable
decisions but still love them more.
78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he
finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know
them,they'll realize they're wrong.
81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too
stubborn to deal with it.
82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
83. Guys' weakest
point is at the knee.
84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is
already thinking of a way out.
85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at
fixing things.
86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's
criticizing you.
87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second
chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at
you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls
read and take as their basis of experience.
91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of
you!
92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even
just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him
praying sometimes.
95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

98. Guys hate girls who overreact.

99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your
relationships.
100. Guys tell truth, unless specified!

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Books !?!

Dhoop mein niklo, Ghataon mein naha kar dekho
Zindagi kya hai, kitabon ko hata kar dekho !

Monday, June 13, 2005

Irshaad

Bhule hai rafta rafta unhe muddato me hum,
kishto me khudKhushi ka maza humse Puchiye


Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Stages after being Drunk!

Stage 1 - *SMART* : This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - *GOOD LOOKING* : This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - *RICH* This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 - *BULLET PROOF* You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you areSMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!
Stage 5 - *INVISIBLE* This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the
words.

Saturday, June 04, 2005