Thursday, May 28, 2009

"the" angrezi

Take a look at our English.

Forget the Gujarati 'snakes' (snacks) and 'takes' (tax). Or the Bengali 'brij' (breeze) and 'shit of paper' (sheet of paper). Or the south Indian spelling of banana: bee-yay-yen-yay-yen-yay. Or the Punjabi celebration of 'birdays' (birthdays), especially if they fall on 'Sacherdays' (Saturdays) and the person concerned is of good 'krakter' (character). Punjab is also famous for its 'loins' (lions) and its 'laiyers' (lawyers).

Our orthography is even more inventive. 'Child bear, sold hare' (Chilled beer, sold here) might be an exaggeration, just about. But lots of shops sell 'milk and cureds' (curds). And restaurants serve 'Chinees, Muglai and Conti' (continental) food. Many a political speech is made from a 'dias' (dais) which may or may not be 'miniscule' (minuscule).

Advertisements always proclaim 'Offer open till stocks last', never 'while stocks last'. 'Till' denotes termination (We will love each other till we die); 'while' denotes duration (We will love each other while we live). While, till? Termination, duration?

It doesn't. Like the use of the apostrophe 's', which indicates a shortened or contracted form: 'it's' for 'it is'. Technically, in the other use of 'its', as a pronoun (Its price makes the Nano a great buy), the 's' shouldn't take an apostrophe. But who cares a flying fig for technicalities. We apostrophise at will. As in our wont. Or should that be 'won't'?

Fewer and fewer of us can tell the difference between 'fewer' and 'lesser'. What's that you say? 'Fewer' should be used when we are talking in numeric, or countable, terms: Fewer people (not 'lesser' people) attended today's rally. 'Lesser' should be used in describing non-numeric quantity or magnitude: children of a lesser god; theft is a lesser crime than murder. But all of us including the TOI swap our lessers and our fewers with abandon.

We like to 'er', and generously add 'er' to words that don't need it as a suffix. So neighbour becomes a 'neighbourer', preferably a 'next-door neighbourer', to distinguish him from the neighbourer living 50 doors down the road. And forger, as in someone who forges currency notes, becomes a 'forgerer'.

We also tend to be nervous 'the'-ists: we are never quite sure when to use 'the' and when not to. For example, all of us tend to talk on phone (not 'the phone'). On the other hand, when we fly, we prefer to travel by 'the plane', rather than 'by plane', which may or may not be made by 'the Boeing'.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

मुद्दत हुई है यार को महमां किए हुए
जोशे-क़दह से, बज्म चरागाँ किए हुए

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


I have come to realize that we should keep high aspirations, moderate expectations, and small needs. The real winners in life are the people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better. There is no greater challenge than to have someone relying upon you; no greater satisfaction than to vindicate his/her expectation.

I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.

Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel

Sunday, May 10, 2009


Here's something on this Mother's Day

My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You are just like your father!"

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING...
"You are going to get it when we get home."

And my all time favorite thing--JUSTICE
"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU.. then you'll see what it's like."

In between all this, my Mother taught me how to Live!
Thank you Mom for all I have learned these years.

Best Wishes for Mothers Day!.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

I'P'L - Political vs Premier

  1. Is it Narendra Modi vs Lalit Modi?
  2. Both have intense action at hand. Till the last day's voting is done, no one can predict who will come to power - UPA was leading a few months back, until Fourth front came into picture. Varun Gandhi making his moves at an opportune time too. Likewise, till the dire end of a 20-20 match, no knows which way it'll swing. Whether it is a bowler who takes a hat-trick to change the course of the match, or a Yusuf Pathan who clears the short boundaries to leave Daredevils at dismay.
  3. 20-20 has teams that are city-centric. So is the case with political parties, with more and more regional parties coming at fore.
  4. Political parties are owned by families and dynasties (a la gandhis, scindias, pilots and more), and cricket teams are private property of business houses (reliance, red chilli, and others)
  5. Where there's power, there's controversy - so how can these be any different. On one hand is Varun Gandhi's speech, on the other Shahrukh Khan's call to Ganguly to step down from captaincy. There is slipper throwing incident on politicians, and there was Harbhajan slapping Sreesanth last time around.
  6. Interestingly, both are recession proof! The rates of politicians as well as cricket players have gone over the roof over last few months. Both follow the highest bidder!
  7. And how can we forget glamour - be it Salman Khan attending a political rally and taking his shirt off on request from the crowd, or a Shilpa / Shamita Shetty, trying to boost their team, throwing parties all over Jo'burg