Wedding Blues

This being wedding season, I have attended 10+ ceremonies in last 5 days; have spent 3 sleepless nights in last 7; and on one of those nights, was thinking of how weddings are a complete package in itself. Here are a few thoughts:

The way: Here in India, Hindu couples are married before a small fire, into which we toss flowers, water, seeds, and fruits, which are considered the four symbols of life. In the West, it has been replaced with a larger, metaphorical fire, into which great piles of currency are hurled.

Decent proposals: in private, on a starry night, preferably atop something tall. On bended knee: optional. Skip the bended knee thing if there are lots of other people around - you don't need applause. Besides, she might say no!

Indecent proposals: anything involving skywriting, fireworks, a sporting event, or submerging jewelry in champagne.
It's a classy, if outdated and sexist custom to ask her father for her hand.

The wedding timetable: Six months before, set the date. Also the budget. And the number of guests. This would also be a good time to place an accredited psychotherapist on retainer.

It being your wedding, of course, you get to invite whomever you want.

Here's how it's gonna be: Everybody she wants to receive an invitation will receive an invitation.

An exercise in a most basic aspect of matrimonial preparedness:
Step One. In quiet moments, when alone, try substituting the phrase "my fiancee" for "my girlfriend."
Step Two. Attempt same in public.
Step Three. Make note of any involuntary gastric reactions to this utterance.
Step Four. Now try saying, "my wife."
Repeat steps Two and Three.

Some women believe expensive diamond rings are silly and excessive.
I've not yet met one.

Ask your father and a couple of your married male contemporaries how much to spend. Spend that much.

While it is thoughtful to let her pick out the ring, it is also gutless and infinitely less romantic than surprising her with one.

Make a list of things that you hated from other people's weddings: the horse and carriage, the lack of liquor, religious ceremonies, the lack of liquor, lack of bride's friends, the lack of liquor.
Don't allow these things at yours.
Like it or not, you will defer to your fiancee's wishes in all such matters and be a better man for it. Think of it as pre-marriage practice for the rest of your life.

Comic relief: Now and then, look back at the original wedding budget and laugh at your childlike optimism.

The bachelor party, which, you should be aware, sometimes involves drinking noteworthy quantities of liquor, shall not occur any less than one solid week prior to the wedding day. Recovery time, that's why.

Also in the bachelor party:
Drugs are avoidable.
Shots are avoidable.
Strippers are always avoidable.

On the wedding day, it's all right to be nervous.
It's all right to be scared.
It's not all right to soil your wedding sherwani.

Wedding pictures: Black-and-white is more permanent and more romantic.
Spend more on the photographer than on the flowers, because photos last forever.

Meantime, keep smiling.

We know it sometimes hurts, but you've got no choice: Keep smiling.

PS: A few friends asked me after looking at this post, whether there's anything on the cards for me! The answer is - No. Definitely not!

Boil an egg

One would consider it easy to boil an egg - isn't it.

I came home early today, and was held up in a couple of things. When I turned to see the clock, it was 10 already - thought of calling up some friends to go out for dinner or drinks, but 10 becomes too late for married couples to call upon, and all bachelor friends already had plans. I didn't want to go out alone, and all I was left to do was to get some eggs from the market (considering making eggs is the easiest thing to do, or as I would suppose).

Now that I am back with eggs, I have a task at hand - how to boil eggs. And the answer is, I don't know! Whether water should be boiled first, and then eggs put in the container, or both of them together? What should be the level of water in the container? How long should it stay on the burner? Should I run boiled eggs through cold water also, at a later stage?

I thought of calling up some friends, who might know answers to these trivial questions, but I decided against it, owing to my quest to do it on my own. The only helper now is "Google" - and guess what, there are 3 million results for "how to boil an egg"! I guess I can do it now.

Is it google that is sum of all wisdom (wasn't it The Godfather, as quoted in "You've Got Mail"), or am I so ignorant?

It is but natural to safeguard one's interests. What one does is right every single time, without fail, because if nothing else, it makes the person feel comfortable that he did what he thought he should have.

Infact this is what I have noticed - you ask anyone - "what is it that you would change in your past, if you could?"; and the slapstick answer is "I won't change a thing - I will just try and learn from my mistakes."

Well, good to say, but who knows how actionable this would be.

Would you (want to change anything)!
I won't.
Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel

Startups

In this glorious new age, a key question is this: Just how American is entrepreneurship? The word, of course, is French. But the question is, are you more american that french?

I started feeling good about myself as soon as I realized that I was going to be a part of a startup - nothing gives you a kick more than feeling good about whatever you have achieved at the end of the day - be it a small order raised, or another fellow recruited, or a simple visiting card designed for yourself - one can get that feeling only if you get that feeling. Can't be explained.

I have been a trouble maker - and entrepreneurship is the last refuge of the trouble making individual. But what's good about this trouble making is that the solution is also on the cards - because you know what role you are playing at what time.

I see myself as an entrepreneur, but I define it in a different way. People mix up entrepreneurship with risk-taking - I would rather say that an entrepreneur is a risk-minimizer, an opportunity seeker. I have never felt that I am taking risks - though all my near and dear ones have been of such an opinion. It normally seems so clearly to make sense. One could faintly smell a monster.

And it's also about trust - all those who are together have to have faith - in each other; in their business; most of all, in themselves.

Most entrepreneurs I know do it because they want to, not just to get rich. Money will flow when it should. And anyways, it is never the most sought after thingy.

Nobody talks of entrepreneurship as survival, but that's exactly what it is and what nurtures creative thinking. It brings out the best (maybe the worst). But it definitely brings things out - so there is no harm trying, because you atleast get to know who you are.

And then there is this friend of mine, who has been through various life cycles, each time being in this startup mode, and fighting through the way. Rightly, it is more about preparing yourself for the mindshare and commitment, before anything else.

I admire him for reasons more than one, and I love the way he has explained a startup in the simplest of words here. (http://anupamvarghese.blogspot.com/2008/10/startup-and-family.html). We were both in startups at the same time, and we both have grown in different ways. Stories are different, essence is the same. Ask him. Ask me.

Heroes

Many-a-times, there are things that we see around us, and we instantly think – “yes, this is me”, or “oh yes, this is what I am, or want to be”.

And most of such things are drawn out of media – be it television, radio, or internet.

There is this TV series “Heroes” that I follow – I started following it on recommendation by a friend, and now I can’t miss any of it – I have to catch it on the same day a new episode is released. The show is about people with supernatural abilities, and how fate makes their lives interconnected. It also reflects how someone can be bad at one point of time, while good at the other - it reaffirms the point that perception and introspection play a good hand in what one does.

I understand that F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is the most popular of all times, and I am addicted to it too – I would have watched each season multiple times, and it has gone over to such an extent that now I can watch an episode on mute, and can almost perfectly recite the dialogues verbatim. (Oh I wish I was so good in my school)

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is very nice dinner, but for me, Heroes is dessert.

“Save the cheerleader, save the world”.

Random Ramblings

I was watching this show on Nat Geo, where the waves come over the shore, and disturb the sand castle. Someone makes the castle again, and sea waves perform their act once again, without fail. I was thinking of something else, when I found a similarity between what I was thinking and this one.

It's not that waves have anything against anyone, but they just are doing what they are meant to do. And the kid next door, who is creating these beautiful sand castles is trying to hone his skills as an artist, and retrying to perfect his castle every single time - but still there is an "uncalled for"conflict between the existence of the two.

Likewise is the case with us - we never wish to do others bad; in fact, it is this human nature only that thinks of how others can be benefited, sometimes even before thinking of his own (all right, in some cases it may not be true; but I'm sure it is, in many cases. How can one otherwise explain superiority of human race over other life forms) - and the hypothesis that I have reiterated innumerable times comes befitting, which says that every human is good, unless proved otherwise.

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

I do agree that bad things happen, but most of the times, it is a bad judgment or situation, which, by the way, can be handled. The critical thing is to know how to get to the best solution - because there is only one best solution. Any other way, will only be second best. But not getting the best way should not be a concern - the concern should arise only if it seems that there is no way out.

And what works without fail is, plain talk. Talk, because silence is the root of all evil, and blurting your heart out is the best way to know what you yourself think as well; that's because before you say it, even you don't know what you know and what you don't. It's just like when I was a kid and my mom used to tell me to write whatever I had learned - whatever I wrote, I never forgot, and whatever I thought I knew, but didn't not pen down, never occurred to me when required. This now explains to me why I got such grades in school.

And finally - I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you. We're the same. Me and you. And everyone else too.

In a trans

..and every time I drive, I wander in a state of trans, where I write blog posts many-a-times, but by the time I come back to reality, more often than not, I reach my destination, and I have no clue of what I have written. It's as if it's just a job - grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand, and you never get to notice.

Massa wins, but loses :(

This is bizarre; it's atrocious.

How can Glock let them pass - how can it happen. It just has to be reversed - just like it was done a few years back, when Barrichello had allowed Schumacher to pass, in order to get the desired points.

For those who don't know, Massa won the battle, but Hamilton wins the crown. Most breathtaking last 30 seconds in a formula 1 GP I have ever witnessed.

Next year, beware. Ferrari drivers will be on a roll yet again - Raikonnen & Massa won't let it happen again, and win comfortably. This just might be Hamilton's first one (if he can cling on to it, in case no inquiry sits for this), but definitely his last. The guy just doesn't have the penchant for lucky charms. Or should I stay unlucky charms.