It's a fact that marriage can alter friendships, but it's important to recognize and manage this fact. When couples get married, the first few months, nigh on years can be time spent focusing intently on each other - to the exclusion of previous friendships. While most don't do it deliberately, there is a line of exclusion that seems to divide married ones from their single and married friends.
The losses always begin subtly. You don't call your friends as often. You beg off from lunch dates and you forgo plans to head out to dinner and the movies. Your topics of conversation may seem a great deal more limited than they did before. When a married couple begins expecting a baby - the divide may fracture even wider between themselves and their single friends.
Yes - some change is to be expected, but how much is the real question. When you become Mister and Missus, it should not be at the expense of whom the two of you were before you were married.
While your single friends may not be preparing dinner & running household errands, they are still available for support, amusement and conversation as long as you are available to provide it and seek it out as well. You may not be going bar-hopping every Friday night, but that doesn't mean you can't still enjoy each others company over coffee in the morning before work or at lunch during the day.
It's important to remember that maybe single friends want to talk about what they did last weekend, and married ones might want to discuss how much time they end up spending on getting things done for the household. One might not be able to relate to the lifestyle anymore, but it's not like you weren't single once upon a time yourself, or you won't be married at a later date. Sometimes, listening is more important than understanding.
There is this odd feeling in our society that once one is married, all he/she ever wants to do is stuff with thy spouse. This isn't wrong, but isn't right either. It should not end with a feeling of, "Well, our friendship was great while it lasted."
The truth is, marriages are wonderful, but it could be that there are other streams that need to pour water in this pond. Our lives are built on the structure of multiple relationships. The relationships we have with our families, our spouses, our children and yes, our friends. We need different support systems for different reasons. Support and understanding is vital in all aspects.
Just because you do things differently, doesn't mean you don't still have a place in your life for others.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Ahem - short term memory loss!
Short term memory loss - ahem! I recall this from somewhere.
Well, the most anticipated movie of the year is finally here. Aamir Khan’s Ghajini brings with it the huge amount of expectations that people usually carry with them to the theatre while watching an Aamir Khan film.
Aamir portrays the business tycoon to perfection, and Asin play the girl next door with ease. First reaction after watching Ghajini is of how long the movie is (3 hours +) - but you don't realize 3 hours have passed by - especially the romantic part of the movie, which is quite enjoyable. I heard Aamir in one of his interviews before the movie's release, and he mentioned that this is a tender romantic movie. I couldn't understand that then, but I guess the romantic 2 hours of the movie are worth a watch. Infact, we kept waiting during the course of the movie when the 2006 Diary would be read!
Scenes of ferocious Aamir are good too - one where he makes out from Jiah's faster breath that she has been running, takes all the credit. This version of Aamir hardly speaks, but communicates very well.
Asin proves to be a good actress - Good screen presence, bubbly and charismatic. Aamir Khan is brilliant, as usual! An actor who can never disappoint, neither with his performances nor the overall quality of his movies. What with a different variety of movies like Lagaan, DCH, RDB, TZP and now Ghajini! All very different, but brilliant nonetheless! Jiah Khan had a forgettable performance; her most important scene was when Aamir gets down from her scooter, and she hardly had any expressions while trying to stop Aamir.
Movie definitely is not very violent - this much goes with a masala bollywood movie.
So except an acceptable ending, everything was great. I haven't heard very good of the movie from others, but I got my money's worth. I wonder what's the ending of Tam version of the movie though!
Well, the most anticipated movie of the year is finally here. Aamir Khan’s Ghajini brings with it the huge amount of expectations that people usually carry with them to the theatre while watching an Aamir Khan film.
Aamir portrays the business tycoon to perfection, and Asin play the girl next door with ease. First reaction after watching Ghajini is of how long the movie is (3 hours +) - but you don't realize 3 hours have passed by - especially the romantic part of the movie, which is quite enjoyable. I heard Aamir in one of his interviews before the movie's release, and he mentioned that this is a tender romantic movie. I couldn't understand that then, but I guess the romantic 2 hours of the movie are worth a watch. Infact, we kept waiting during the course of the movie when the 2006 Diary would be read!
Scenes of ferocious Aamir are good too - one where he makes out from Jiah's faster breath that she has been running, takes all the credit. This version of Aamir hardly speaks, but communicates very well.
Asin proves to be a good actress - Good screen presence, bubbly and charismatic. Aamir Khan is brilliant, as usual! An actor who can never disappoint, neither with his performances nor the overall quality of his movies. What with a different variety of movies like Lagaan, DCH, RDB, TZP and now Ghajini! All very different, but brilliant nonetheless! Jiah Khan had a forgettable performance; her most important scene was when Aamir gets down from her scooter, and she hardly had any expressions while trying to stop Aamir.
Movie definitely is not very violent - this much goes with a masala bollywood movie.
So except an acceptable ending, everything was great. I haven't heard very good of the movie from others, but I got my money's worth. I wonder what's the ending of Tam version of the movie though!
Friday, December 19, 2008
...all you are
Put your eyes on him... Look at his practice swing, almost like he's searching for something... Then he finds it... Watch how he settles himself right into the middle of it, feel that focus... He's got a lot of shots he could choose from... Duffs and tops and skulls, there's only ONE shot that's in perfect harmony with the field... One shot that's his, authentic shot, and that shot is gonna choose him... There's a perfect shot out there tryin' to find each and every one of us... All we got to do is get ourselves out of its way, to let it choose us... Can't see that flag as some dragon you got to slay... You got to look with soft eyes... See the place where the tides and the seasons and the turning of the Earth, all come together... where everything that is, becomes one... You got to seek that place with your soul dear... Seek it with your hands don't think about it... Feel it... Your hands are wiser than your head's ever gonna be... Now I can't take you there... Just hope I can help you find a way... Just you... that ball... that flag... and all you are...
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Young Turks
I've had the opportunity of working with Anupam & Jayadev from TinfoMobile. What I really liked about their venture was the enthusiasm and aspirations with which the firm operated. Be it operating out of a two-room house, to a full-fledged-well-decorated-nicely-furnished office space on the prime location of the city, the firm saw it all. This is what gives you kicks, from a startup; though the ultimate aim is to gain a chunk from client's pockets, the adrenaline rush comes from the quest of being what you want to be; the never-say-die attitude; the hunger of success; overloaded work; kicks drawn from overloaded work; never letting others know about your overload; going for drinks with friends with the thought on your mind that a deadline is pending; and at the end of the day, feeling great that you did what no one else could have done. Sweet.
Here's a sneak peek on their success story, as covered by CNBC Young Turks.
Here's a sneak peek on their success story, as covered by CNBC Young Turks.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Choice
If you know less than what you should, you're being ignorant. If you are ignorant, you act stupid. If you act stupid, you learn. If you learn, you will do better. If you do better, you'll stay happy.
If you know more than what you should, you're creating imbalance. If you create imbalance, it will affect the equilibrium. If equilibrium is affected, things change for worse. If things change for worse, you stay unhappy.
Choice is yours!
If you know more than what you should, you're creating imbalance. If you create imbalance, it will affect the equilibrium. If equilibrium is affected, things change for worse. If things change for worse, you stay unhappy.
Choice is yours!
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