Is it so?

Things change with time. But at the end of it, you believe that you should have done this or that, so as to make it better. You always know that there are 2 paths: an easy one and the right one! the onus is on us to decide which one to take. This blog is getting serious unneccesarily. So I also have 2 choices: to continue this way, or to change. Period.

Mesmerising Gloom

It keeps happening again and again and again and again. Yet again!

When I am very happy, I forget about jotting it down here; and as and when it starts getting over me, I revert back to my blogging senses!

Since last post, quite a few ups-and-downs have come, and gone by. For once, I was regretting for having taken a vow, but then it came over pretty well in the end. Then I went over to Bangalore for Diwali times, which weren't very enthusiastic times as well. Dido and Sardar, both were engaged in their offices so much that I hardly got any time to spend with anyone, except a television! The plainest diwali ever.

Then came back, and things were getting along fine, when suddenly, this crunch came over. And I found myself in the midst of the most-testing times of my life as of now. I surely think I should have started somewhere down the value chain, and not where I actually did. I am still a kid, and bearing so many things at the same time make me wonder sometimes whether I shud do them or not; Though its another case that I cherish being in the position and role I am in, and I am sure it wouldn't come up otherwise.

Things are still very bleak. A lot of things going on right now, and I just hope (yet again!) that everything comes to normal self soon. I am not meant to take so many tensions in life. ;)
The work is in progress, and if things go well, a month from now I should be a happy and satisfied guy.

Eggjactly

Hah!

The last post was more of a misnomer, as I see it now.

"Too Bad" is really a too bad thing to say, because it doesn't say what it means.

Things really were bad, and they haven't improved considerably still, but I have come to live with it anyhow. Have tried to make things better in ways more than one. And I can feel the difference. Hence, it sure is in our hands to make it better or worse for ourselves.

Thank goodness, the group thing is back to normalcy. Have come out of the other issues also partially. But because I have better things to take care, its in best interests of everyone that I forget and carry on from here.

Planning to go to Bangalore over Diwali. I am sure if I sit here for Diwali as well, I'll crack. Need to come up with more ways for leisure. Just hope that Bangalore has a better ambience while I go this time.

Now then, Deepti's questions really persuaded me to think whether I'll ever get "my-kinda-girl". A long shot would say that I will, but then, who knows.
;)

The other Deepti, DP, sure needs to come up with the ways she should. I'll need to tell her time and again, and make her rise to the occasion. These small fights will, I am sure, do more good than harm. I know this is the other way round, but not in this case.

Gotta work with the dynamic business model of the company as well.

Too Bad

Its never so bad that it can't get worse!

True it is. Last few days have really shown that. I was hardly trying to come out of these incredible tensions that I have developed, that I face more in my kitty.

Deepti rightly told me that there should be a gap between private and public life; between office and social life. I have hardly followed that as of now, but seems like that it the right thing to do.

With the baffled yahoogroup issue, and the chances of this guy leaving the company, this cricket issue, and other things as well, I can hardly think of a way out. People say that I should calm down and think, but where's the solution? I don't see any solution at all to such problems, unless I am the one who's creating them.

I rightly need to change my ways. Or change the world. :)
Lets see which one I choose!

Handle with care!

And then I came back from Bangalore!

It came as no respite that the work was overloaded here as well. PSS still on; DRL delivery in a few days; Ahlcon presentation coming up soon; Samir's BDC and VC work also picking up; Alexion and Bayer on the cards; And above all, those projects with MBA colleges. Everything driving me crazy.

Anyhow, DRL went off well in the end. And Hari's plans to come to India postponed due to Alexion meeting in US. This meant that Hari won't be there for Ahlcon meeting! Such an important one, without him. Lets see how it shapes up. Putting in my level best for it.
And these MBA projects taking loads of time. Though I know the endeavor is one of the best ever taken up, but still, problems creep in everywhere.

I didn't believe it, but have started feeling that personal and professional lives should have distance. Last night was the fitting example. I got as low as I have ever been, and that too because of that stupid feeling I got. Not that its sure, but nonetheless, I never doubt my thinking.

Gotta see how I'll have to manage the situation here in the office now. Truly speaking, this is the richest experience one can ever get in the work. Don't know about the things to come, but sure it does help, in one way or the other.

Peace!

To buy or not to buy!

People usually go to shopping malls for fun and end up buying stuff that they don't actually need. Obviously this is a waste of one's own resources and therefore is not good for one's own self. Here are some simple ways on how to not buy anything.

Steps

1. The easiest way of not ending up buying anything is to simply not take any money, credit cards, or anything of the sort with you.
2. Go with some friends and keep on enjoying yourselves such that you don't even feel like buying anything. This is not very easy, though.
3. Don't go to any shopping malls or shops at all when you are roaming around.
4. If you are roaming around alone, keep yourself engrossed in yourself so that you don't pay attention to your surroundings. That does not mean that you stop seeing where you are going.
5. If you see something that you think you just have to have, really study it, stare at it for several minutes, think of why you need it. Do you really need it? Will you die without it?
6. Think about how long it will be there. If it's something that's going to be around for years and possibly go down in price later on, then don't bother, not unless you just can't live without it, like food.
7. Fill your shopping cart with things you have to have, spend all the time you want looking though the aisles and choosing your items carefully, then when all finished, abandon your cart and leave the store. (Note that store employees frown on people abandoning their full shopping carts. This practice works better when shopping online.)
8. Use the "7" rule; if something you want is over 7777 rupees, wait 7 days and ask 7 trusted people whether this is a good purchase. Then buy it if you still think it is a good idea. This rule will curtail impulse buying.

If you feel guilty still, contact me!

Tryst with the doubts

Now that I was back to bangalore from home, I needed some respite. But seems like when it comes, it comes in a big way. Thought that I'll make up for the fun I missed last time. But then, the maze started taking its shape.

Couldn't think of what to do at this friends place. Was all the time thinking of what I need to do in the coming hours, which actually was nothing. I have got into this habit of worrying unneccesarily of things that haven't even happened yet. Sure I ws disturbed because I had been asked to take one of the most difficult and painful decisions any professional in a company has to take: thats about the future of others in the company.

Nevertheless, went to the parties which were long time due. (Don't know still whether I went to Varshney's party or Deepa's party or Sardar's party) I could hardly make out whatever was happening out there, on Saturday night party, as well as Sunday noon one!

As always, Swap was the one whom I would have called, but he too was in middle of a boring party, but due to some official obligations, he was supposed to stay with the party. hence, I decided to take a stroll alone, when everyone else was in the pub.

And the thoughts that came to my mind during that stroll came as no surprise to me, as I should have expected in by then.

It's time to see the unseen. It's time to realise the picture is not as rosy as it seems. I wonder how/when will I come out of this thought; who will be the medium; which incidents will trigger it; where will it happen; and above all, WHY is it happening!

Rendezvous with change.

A long time again. A fortnight actually.

Went home for a few days: First time after I got into this job. Everyone was excited, but as it is said, "Too many cooks spoil the broth" - "Too much of excitement also brings down the relative value of the opportunity".

Was in Bangalore before going home, as I was taking my flight from Bangalore. Don't remember what exactly I did there (It's been 2 weeks since then), but let me try and recollect!

Ah! Met the Branch Manager Ma'm, Ms. All-time-busy this time. Though I had thought I won't, but anyhow, that's me. Met Deepika also. If I remember correctly, she had to attend some functions also, but anyhow! Obviously 294.

Oh yes, Deepa's Birthday was also there. And that gusty Sardar!

Next day: Fly Kingfisher! A nice one. Found it better than Jet/Sahara/IA. Enjoying the headphones still. ;)

Reached Delhi. My-o-my! What a storm it was. Though the time was afternoon, ours was amongst the only flights to land in delhi on that day. Thank God our flight didn't get diverted to Jaipur/Lucknow. Got home, and it looked still the same. Same as ever. Comforts at the level best.

Then came the changes from the usual. Work@Home. To start with, looks nice. But not for long. Went to what-not places. Had rendezvous with the unmet. And the usual ones also. But for a change, didn't get to meet friends for long. I could feel the change that had cropped into me. All the things which used to excite me, weren't there anymore. Everything was changing. For Good? - Don't know.

And the unthinkable - the unusually usual stuff, from wherever we went - "Get Married kid! You are done with what others haven't! You have everything now." Obviously I was sure Mom and Dad won't ask me to, so soon.

As if I am a source of entertainment, everyone I met said the same. Do they believe I am an amusement piece, who will bring fun into their lives like that!

Good enough that I am at a stage where people are considered to have achieved a lot, but I know I am capable of much much more; much beyond others can even think of. And above all, I myself haven't discovered what I want to do with my life: in what position are others to have a say in what I should do!

Thankfully, Mom and Dad were always with me on these grounds, and they back every decision I make. That's what is most appreciable in my case.

After a week of consistent pushing, finally my parents also fall into the trap. They think so many people can't be incorrect. Damn it! Anyhow, told them straight away, on the onset, that it is not to be. Sure they were hurt on straight-forwarded-ness, but they know what I mean. I feel bad as well, to have refused them the "first-ever" thing they wanted to ask me for, even before they asked me for it. Though they are open to anything I wish to, I know it hurts, to see their kid has grown to such an extent that he can make his own decisions now. Poor me! Dilemma!

Oh yeah, Micky - as chill as ever. Never bothered about anything. Gosh - when can I be so tension-free?

Then the flight back to bangalore. As I sat back and thought, though nothing happened on the trip, but this trip was going to be one of those, which you keep in your mind for long long time. I am on a trip now - a trip to a different world!

Death Rate!

Now this is a gud one: (Stolen from another blog of a friend of mine)

Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is?

A: One per person.

Complex

And then this guy A comes to me and says that this girl B has a problem with another guy C. And this is being stated as the problem why work is not getting done! Now, how am I supposed to make sure that they stay on the same side of the line? Moreover, why should I do that?

I mean, am I responsible?

Kya yaar, kitne pange hain life mein? Can't the life be a bit normal, without any complexities?