The Leela

Just came back an hour back from 'The Leela'. Twas nothing like Bangalore Leela. Infact, this was not even comparable to Taj Land's End or Muthoot Plaza! Though it had the best location possible - that on the top of a cliff, alongside the sea beach, but the ambience was just not meant to be like a 7 star. How can a 7 star be cheaper than a 5 star !

Well, the gathering was good. Had fun with the food, and the talks. Though sitting along side the pool, it made me feel nostalgic, and a rush of adrenaline went thru my spine! I wanted to swim, and reach my home, both at the same time. Not that I cud swim from here to Delhi, but anyhow!

And the client presentation tomorrow morning means I will need to have a night out tonight. Not that I would have cared much, but its good that we did not have a booze party tonight. Though I would have loved to blabber about a lot of issues if this presentation would not have been there tomorrow, there won't be much point in doing that tomorrow as it would be irrelevant tomorrow.

I just want to go away now. Maybe Bangalore, maybe Mumbai/Pune, or maybe Delhi. Wherever! I don't care. I am fed up of devising ways of killing my valuable time which I can use for constructive work as well. This new year shud see me at a place different than this.

For the best.

Taken for granted

I feel I am being taken for granted sometimes, when I don't wish to. That's what creates problems. Though I try to figure out the best way possible, but something or the other comes in the way to make me do rash things.

On other grounds, I am deciding on the training now, and looking out what could be the options. I know there are not many options, but who knows what comes out from where. Hopefully, I shud be in Delhi by the end of this month. This will work out from there, I am sure.

Been talking to quite a few people these days; and taking up lots of their tasks, but I know I can't do with due justice. Will try my level best though.

Fee-mails!

Wishlist

Now then, I saw Orkut asking me for my holiday wishlist.

I started wondering what it could be, but then I realised that there could be "N" number of things I would want, if given a chance.

To start with, what about putting all the things in place for the firm. Follow it up with a party with all the friends (this has been long overdue). Then getting an opportunity to meet all my friends once again, be it together or one by one. Then, I would love to attend all the functions coming up in next few months. The list would grow endless, but its just that I would be contended with this much as well.

Bas itna sa khwaab hai!

VC

Spent last 10 days in Blr, meeting people. Strand leaves me stranded, and don't know how things proceed from here.

An update on what happened in Blr: Met quite a few people. Dido, VRS, Sardar (Obviously). Then Tarun, Nidhi, Deepika. Met Kalyan and Brinda also for once. Cudn't catch up with Sinha as we both were at wrong places at the right time.

Sardar's Genpact party was gud. So were its after-effects. Wud have liked to follow things in the way I wanted. Even Sardar said that I shud have gone ahead with the war, but somehow didn't feel like going ahead, for the sake of ol' times. Hardly that it matters, but still!

Gotta stay here in Tvdm for a few days, and then to go ahead - can't say where.

Normalcy

Though Kalyan has left; though I know I will be leaving in a few days as well; I know things will be better soon. Things are at status quo, but its becoming easier these days - maybe with the help of tiny little helpings here and there.

A few days back, had a tete-e-tete with Apoorva thru DP. Yet another character. Has a few things in her mind which she has no idea about. Level headed though.

Had these not-so-usual talks with DP. And something on the same grounds with regards to uniqueness with CD as well. Though there was a little difference of opinion with CD, but thats normal.

And yes, how to forget Srushita and Meera. Does it happen with everyone? So many cold calls? Nice people anyhow!

Aasheesh is also getting confused, and something needs to be worked out soon. So is the case with Swap. Now that the bonus is done, will start looking for something for him as well.
Twas very nice to talking to Micky yesternite. He called at the right moment: when I was missing him the most! Thats my bro! Knows when to do what.

I'll be going to Bangalore soon; maybe tomorrow. Have quite a few things to do there. Lets see how the coming week fares for me.

Where?

I don't know where I will be, what I will be doing, why I will be doing whatever I would be doing, a few weeks down the line! The bleak picture shows that I will be in Bangalore next week, gearing up for a few meetings and pitches. Third week of December might see me back in Trivandrum to pack up and go back to Delhi. It might as well see me packing up and shifting to Bangalore. Anything could happen in days to come. A very ambiguous time indeed. Period.

The week that was:

Well, as usual, am late on update.

All these issues came up at work. Went for bangalore for these presentations. Came back and other issues. Very uncertain times coming up. But hopefully everything will get in place in a month's time. Sometimes I wonder - Isn't it possible to fast-forward the life by a month or so: so that everything falls back in order, and we don't have to worry about it at all.

I now know what start-ups mean; It isn't as rosy as it seems - It has much more in store!

All the chat sessions have come down - don't know why. Will know in a few days whether its for gud or bad.

Gone are the days.

Gone are the days...
When the school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and benches.
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books and notes.
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
Managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then micro tips.
We began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color pencils and finally sketch pens.
We started calculating first with tables and then with
Clarke's tables and advanced to calculators and computers.
When we chased one another in the corridors in
Intervals, and returned to the classrooms drenched in sweat.
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle shed.
When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays.
When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons.
When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,
And Neckties and socks rolled into balls.
When few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
While others simply played "book cricket" in the confines of classroom.
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy.
When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks.
When few rushed at 1:45to "Conquer" window seats in our School bus.
While few others had "Big Fun", "Choc-o-bar", "kulfi ice" and "Pepsi" at 2:00 Clock.
Gone are the days Of Sports Day, and the annual School Day,
And the one-month long preparations for them.
Gone are the days of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams, and the most enjoyed holidays after them.
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when we spent almost the whole year writing revision tests.
We learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, and we lost,
We laughed, we cried, we fought, we thought.
With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more.
Gone are the days when we used to talk for hours with our friends.
Now we don't have time to say a HI.
Gone are the days when we sat to chat with friends on grounds.
Now we chat in chat rooms and mails.....
Gone are the days where we studied just to pass.
Now we study to save our job
Gone are the days where we had no money in our pockets
And fun filled on our hearts
Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart
Gone are the days where we shouted on the road.
Now we don t shout even at home
Gone are the days where we got lectures from all.
Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....
Gone are the days
But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and ever and ever and Ever.....
NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE,
DONT FORGET TO LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL EXISTS.
IT WON’T BE THERE FOR EVER.

Did I do the right thing?

You Should Get a MBA (Masters of Business Administration)

You're a self starter with a drive for success. You'd make a great entrepreneur.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Type of blog?

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything. You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey. You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Is it so?

Things change with time. But at the end of it, you believe that you should have done this or that, so as to make it better. You always know that there are 2 paths: an easy one and the right one! the onus is on us to decide which one to take. This blog is getting serious unneccesarily. So I also have 2 choices: to continue this way, or to change. Period.

Mesmerising Gloom

It keeps happening again and again and again and again. Yet again!

When I am very happy, I forget about jotting it down here; and as and when it starts getting over me, I revert back to my blogging senses!

Since last post, quite a few ups-and-downs have come, and gone by. For once, I was regretting for having taken a vow, but then it came over pretty well in the end. Then I went over to Bangalore for Diwali times, which weren't very enthusiastic times as well. Dido and Sardar, both were engaged in their offices so much that I hardly got any time to spend with anyone, except a television! The plainest diwali ever.

Then came back, and things were getting along fine, when suddenly, this crunch came over. And I found myself in the midst of the most-testing times of my life as of now. I surely think I should have started somewhere down the value chain, and not where I actually did. I am still a kid, and bearing so many things at the same time make me wonder sometimes whether I shud do them or not; Though its another case that I cherish being in the position and role I am in, and I am sure it wouldn't come up otherwise.

Things are still very bleak. A lot of things going on right now, and I just hope (yet again!) that everything comes to normal self soon. I am not meant to take so many tensions in life. ;)
The work is in progress, and if things go well, a month from now I should be a happy and satisfied guy.

Eggjactly

Hah!

The last post was more of a misnomer, as I see it now.

"Too Bad" is really a too bad thing to say, because it doesn't say what it means.

Things really were bad, and they haven't improved considerably still, but I have come to live with it anyhow. Have tried to make things better in ways more than one. And I can feel the difference. Hence, it sure is in our hands to make it better or worse for ourselves.

Thank goodness, the group thing is back to normalcy. Have come out of the other issues also partially. But because I have better things to take care, its in best interests of everyone that I forget and carry on from here.

Planning to go to Bangalore over Diwali. I am sure if I sit here for Diwali as well, I'll crack. Need to come up with more ways for leisure. Just hope that Bangalore has a better ambience while I go this time.

Now then, Deepti's questions really persuaded me to think whether I'll ever get "my-kinda-girl". A long shot would say that I will, but then, who knows.
;)

The other Deepti, DP, sure needs to come up with the ways she should. I'll need to tell her time and again, and make her rise to the occasion. These small fights will, I am sure, do more good than harm. I know this is the other way round, but not in this case.

Gotta work with the dynamic business model of the company as well.

Too Bad

Its never so bad that it can't get worse!

True it is. Last few days have really shown that. I was hardly trying to come out of these incredible tensions that I have developed, that I face more in my kitty.

Deepti rightly told me that there should be a gap between private and public life; between office and social life. I have hardly followed that as of now, but seems like that it the right thing to do.

With the baffled yahoogroup issue, and the chances of this guy leaving the company, this cricket issue, and other things as well, I can hardly think of a way out. People say that I should calm down and think, but where's the solution? I don't see any solution at all to such problems, unless I am the one who's creating them.

I rightly need to change my ways. Or change the world. :)
Lets see which one I choose!

Handle with care!

And then I came back from Bangalore!

It came as no respite that the work was overloaded here as well. PSS still on; DRL delivery in a few days; Ahlcon presentation coming up soon; Samir's BDC and VC work also picking up; Alexion and Bayer on the cards; And above all, those projects with MBA colleges. Everything driving me crazy.

Anyhow, DRL went off well in the end. And Hari's plans to come to India postponed due to Alexion meeting in US. This meant that Hari won't be there for Ahlcon meeting! Such an important one, without him. Lets see how it shapes up. Putting in my level best for it.
And these MBA projects taking loads of time. Though I know the endeavor is one of the best ever taken up, but still, problems creep in everywhere.

I didn't believe it, but have started feeling that personal and professional lives should have distance. Last night was the fitting example. I got as low as I have ever been, and that too because of that stupid feeling I got. Not that its sure, but nonetheless, I never doubt my thinking.

Gotta see how I'll have to manage the situation here in the office now. Truly speaking, this is the richest experience one can ever get in the work. Don't know about the things to come, but sure it does help, in one way or the other.

Peace!

To buy or not to buy!

People usually go to shopping malls for fun and end up buying stuff that they don't actually need. Obviously this is a waste of one's own resources and therefore is not good for one's own self. Here are some simple ways on how to not buy anything.

Steps

1. The easiest way of not ending up buying anything is to simply not take any money, credit cards, or anything of the sort with you.
2. Go with some friends and keep on enjoying yourselves such that you don't even feel like buying anything. This is not very easy, though.
3. Don't go to any shopping malls or shops at all when you are roaming around.
4. If you are roaming around alone, keep yourself engrossed in yourself so that you don't pay attention to your surroundings. That does not mean that you stop seeing where you are going.
5. If you see something that you think you just have to have, really study it, stare at it for several minutes, think of why you need it. Do you really need it? Will you die without it?
6. Think about how long it will be there. If it's something that's going to be around for years and possibly go down in price later on, then don't bother, not unless you just can't live without it, like food.
7. Fill your shopping cart with things you have to have, spend all the time you want looking though the aisles and choosing your items carefully, then when all finished, abandon your cart and leave the store. (Note that store employees frown on people abandoning their full shopping carts. This practice works better when shopping online.)
8. Use the "7" rule; if something you want is over 7777 rupees, wait 7 days and ask 7 trusted people whether this is a good purchase. Then buy it if you still think it is a good idea. This rule will curtail impulse buying.

If you feel guilty still, contact me!

Tryst with the doubts

Now that I was back to bangalore from home, I needed some respite. But seems like when it comes, it comes in a big way. Thought that I'll make up for the fun I missed last time. But then, the maze started taking its shape.

Couldn't think of what to do at this friends place. Was all the time thinking of what I need to do in the coming hours, which actually was nothing. I have got into this habit of worrying unneccesarily of things that haven't even happened yet. Sure I ws disturbed because I had been asked to take one of the most difficult and painful decisions any professional in a company has to take: thats about the future of others in the company.

Nevertheless, went to the parties which were long time due. (Don't know still whether I went to Varshney's party or Deepa's party or Sardar's party) I could hardly make out whatever was happening out there, on Saturday night party, as well as Sunday noon one!

As always, Swap was the one whom I would have called, but he too was in middle of a boring party, but due to some official obligations, he was supposed to stay with the party. hence, I decided to take a stroll alone, when everyone else was in the pub.

And the thoughts that came to my mind during that stroll came as no surprise to me, as I should have expected in by then.

It's time to see the unseen. It's time to realise the picture is not as rosy as it seems. I wonder how/when will I come out of this thought; who will be the medium; which incidents will trigger it; where will it happen; and above all, WHY is it happening!

Rendezvous with change.

A long time again. A fortnight actually.

Went home for a few days: First time after I got into this job. Everyone was excited, but as it is said, "Too many cooks spoil the broth" - "Too much of excitement also brings down the relative value of the opportunity".

Was in Bangalore before going home, as I was taking my flight from Bangalore. Don't remember what exactly I did there (It's been 2 weeks since then), but let me try and recollect!

Ah! Met the Branch Manager Ma'm, Ms. All-time-busy this time. Though I had thought I won't, but anyhow, that's me. Met Deepika also. If I remember correctly, she had to attend some functions also, but anyhow! Obviously 294.

Oh yes, Deepa's Birthday was also there. And that gusty Sardar!

Next day: Fly Kingfisher! A nice one. Found it better than Jet/Sahara/IA. Enjoying the headphones still. ;)

Reached Delhi. My-o-my! What a storm it was. Though the time was afternoon, ours was amongst the only flights to land in delhi on that day. Thank God our flight didn't get diverted to Jaipur/Lucknow. Got home, and it looked still the same. Same as ever. Comforts at the level best.

Then came the changes from the usual. Work@Home. To start with, looks nice. But not for long. Went to what-not places. Had rendezvous with the unmet. And the usual ones also. But for a change, didn't get to meet friends for long. I could feel the change that had cropped into me. All the things which used to excite me, weren't there anymore. Everything was changing. For Good? - Don't know.

And the unthinkable - the unusually usual stuff, from wherever we went - "Get Married kid! You are done with what others haven't! You have everything now." Obviously I was sure Mom and Dad won't ask me to, so soon.

As if I am a source of entertainment, everyone I met said the same. Do they believe I am an amusement piece, who will bring fun into their lives like that!

Good enough that I am at a stage where people are considered to have achieved a lot, but I know I am capable of much much more; much beyond others can even think of. And above all, I myself haven't discovered what I want to do with my life: in what position are others to have a say in what I should do!

Thankfully, Mom and Dad were always with me on these grounds, and they back every decision I make. That's what is most appreciable in my case.

After a week of consistent pushing, finally my parents also fall into the trap. They think so many people can't be incorrect. Damn it! Anyhow, told them straight away, on the onset, that it is not to be. Sure they were hurt on straight-forwarded-ness, but they know what I mean. I feel bad as well, to have refused them the "first-ever" thing they wanted to ask me for, even before they asked me for it. Though they are open to anything I wish to, I know it hurts, to see their kid has grown to such an extent that he can make his own decisions now. Poor me! Dilemma!

Oh yeah, Micky - as chill as ever. Never bothered about anything. Gosh - when can I be so tension-free?

Then the flight back to bangalore. As I sat back and thought, though nothing happened on the trip, but this trip was going to be one of those, which you keep in your mind for long long time. I am on a trip now - a trip to a different world!

Death Rate!

Now this is a gud one: (Stolen from another blog of a friend of mine)

Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is?

A: One per person.

Complex

And then this guy A comes to me and says that this girl B has a problem with another guy C. And this is being stated as the problem why work is not getting done! Now, how am I supposed to make sure that they stay on the same side of the line? Moreover, why should I do that?

I mean, am I responsible?

Kya yaar, kitne pange hain life mein? Can't the life be a bit normal, without any complexities?

Talk.

Just yesternite I was discussing this with a friend of mine: How sick guys are!!??

Stunned I was to hear this abstract statement, but then everyone has all the rights to think whatever one feels like. Only later did I come to know that it was only a matter of the moment she encountered. As I lay back and think, I ponder over the issue and see that many-a-times, the corollary holds.

Talks with her brought back those gud ol' DCE days. That "Chai waale baba" - "Are mera cup tod diye re!" - Those countless hours spent in the canteen - Those group fights - Those marriage parties we used to attend unvited - The gud times - And the bad times.

But anyhow, those were the best days of my life! (No doubts about that)
:)

Changing times

How strange it is to see people perform celebrations here, which is highly unlike how I have seen things getting along in Delhi! With this guy's (from the office) birthday just around the corner, the gusto was highly intriguing. But as I see it, people from this part of the country are not too much involved with one-another. Though they are very nice to talk to if you approach them, hardly will anyone ever make the first move. So content in themselves, no wonder why they are getting into technical field in large numbers.

Actually this party here today reminded me of the gud ol' times at DCE. Celebrations everyday. Even the fights we used to have now seem the best of the times. I would anyday prefer those itsy-bitsy fights than the happy days here, while I sit in this air-conditioned cabin, sipping this stupid cup of coffee.

Not in a mood to continue anymore. Need some change. Need to call someone right now. Rest later.

Naahh. Nothing.

Now then, it's been happening for quite some time. I wonder when the speculations will come to an end, to bring out a clearer picture. Hoping to get everything sorted out by the time I go home.

Leaving it aside, I think its getting interesting day-by-day. With the projects coming in at an unsustainable pace, I sure need to look for people who are WELL-SUITED for the task. Everyone has his/her own strengths (I won't call weakness here, bcoz hardly anyone knows his), and the onus lies on each individual to identify how to manipulate self to get a strategic fit with the task. This seems to be pretty abstract, and getting into an unidentified field; so will chuck this as well, for the meantime.

This week was as hectic it can get, but for a change, I didn't mind that. With a few client deliveries (or should I say Over-deliveries), and commencement of other few, it came as a surprize to me how I could have managed 3 night-outs in a span of 4 days. As I see it, never-ever have I bothered to go thru the night for studies. Night-outs I have had for sports/games/roaming around have been countless, but never for something which would add value ;-) to anything. But these night-outs were more out of concern than for work. Monitoring of the team, and giving them a feel that someone is there sitting with them is more like it.

Anyhow, will have all the rest in the world when I go home next week. (Or will I? 000's of things are to be done. Gotta meet "n" number of people. Gotta take care of some pending issues. etc etc etc). This trip will be more like a hop, where I'll have to manage with just one "me". Alas, cloning has not reached any critical stage.

Maybe I'll put in my skeptical thoughts next time. I sat to pen them down, but somehow could not do that. Better luck next time.

Lonely Hearts - See Through !

Find 50, or find just 1

Courtesy a blog entry that I saw on blogger sometime back, a thought came to my mind tonight. The entry rightly asks - Do we spend enuf time on "I", "Me", "Myself", even though we say we are so selfish!

Let me re-iterate the question asked - "What are the 50 things you WILL do before you DIE?"

Absurd sure it seems, but as emgi (that's the name of the person who made the post) states it, it's really very hard to think of any such things. Infact, I tried thinking of a few for myself, but couldn't even zero-on to 1 of those 50.

I think I've thought of the 1st one now, though. It would be to be find all 50, before I die.

Attitude !

Have this - "Leli"!

The key word is always Leli. Especially in the corporate world, there is nothing more important than the Leli word.

It is therefore time now to ask yourself a simple question. "Did I Leli someone today?"

If yes, good. If no, you haven't moved up sufficiently in life yet.

Progress is measured by how many people you Leli each day. Sub-ordinates, vendors, partners. Sometimes customers, bosses and investors too.

Note the clear and logical implication of the slogan. Your tempo is high, when you Leli someone else. If you are not Leli-ing sufficiently, you are the one likely to be Leli-ed by someone.

In your office, you can clearly see a co-relation between a person's importance and his Leli Monthly Index (LMI).

The LMI is given by the formula :

(sigma of [the number of people you Leli x number of times you Leli each of them in a month]) divided by (sigma of [the number of people who Leli you x number of times they Leli you in a month])

(Note: the numerator/denominator is taken as 1 if it turns out to be zero.)

For a Weight Adjusted LMI:

You can take a multiplying factor of 1 for Leli-ing sub-ordinates, vendors and partners

and a multiplying factor of 2 for customers, bosses and investors.

An LMI of above 10 is considered healthy for your heart and back. Mainly because you are so good at leli-ing now that you can play tennis, chase hemlines at Forum, and generally indulge in similar healthy pastimes, unlike others with a low LMI who play the corporate rat-race, chase deadlines and generally indulge their backs on that badly designed office chair.

Further, it is a good idea to measure your LMI and compare it to that of your boss. If your LMI is higher than that of your boss, I would not want to be your boss for sure.

Following are estimates of Weight Adjusted LMIs for various people:

- The common man 0.01

- Rajesh Gupta 0.002

(Got the least salary hikes, on bench, did the max work and worst employee rating

Hai koi shaksh na koi duja

Hai aksar uska muh suja sujta
Main puch kya hai bhai ?
Usne kaha

My dear boy "I am Rajesh Gupta" !
)

- PR Rajesh 100

(did the least work and got the maximum salary hikes, got the best Employee rating goes to gym,joggin ,bars, pubs music classes and (if time permits) to office, had a new girlfriend every Saturday)

Rabin - 0.0000001

(Works in office. Works in home.But despised, ostarcised ,circumcised everywhere. The culprit is PR rajesh who increases his own LMI by Leli-ing him and the problem is Rabin thinks PR is his best friend. PR shaggin in his bed was caught live on video which further decreased Rabins LMI )

- MBA in an IT Company 50

(he does regular leli to his boss and the customer, therefore he gets a really high Weight Adjusted LMI, the massive crowds on Brigade Road chasing hemlines is a testimony to the Leli-ing success of Software industry MBA's in Bangalore)

- Software Project Manager 0.1

(gets leli-ed by all his software developer sub-ordinates and by the customer besides by his boss even as he chases deadlines all alone.)

- Consultant 1

(actually you may be wondering why I have put such a low figure given that consultants of all varieties can leli everybody and can never be leli-ed by anybody since they do not have to do any real work. But then have you seen a consultant play tennis or whiling away his time on MG Road? No. You always see them hurrying about, working long hours etc. The funda is simple. The consultant achieves his Leli success by leli-ing himself. For every Leli he scores, he has to commit an equal self-leli.)

- Small Investor 0.5 (for every rupee he makes, he loses two)

- Jayalalitha 1.5 billion (50 million Tams x 30 days)

- LalooPrasad 1 Zillion (30 million biharis x 365 days x 20 years)

So, if you want to progress in life, remove that Britney Spears wallpaper from your desktop and put a chart showing your LMI over a period of time. Stare at it for four hours each day. That kind of time wasted will leli your boss, clocking sufficient leli-points for you. That way, you may even have time to play tennis in future - after you are chucked out from your job.

Happy Leli-ing!

Things to do.

Yet again, too many things happening at the same time.
New recruits - Their work - Their acclimatization - Travel Plans to Bangalore - Travel plans to meet clients all across India - Going home - Contacting companies - Law profiles - Law course - Passport - US War Games trip - Upcoming Birthdays - Pondicherry - Yercaud - Emails - Fee-mails.

Hmmmffff!!

Fight Club - The Return of Hobbes

Hobbes is reborn as Tyler to save "Jack" (a grown-up Calvin) from the slough of un-comic despair.

In the film Fight Club, the real name of the protagonist (Ed Norton’s character) is never revealed. Many believe the reason behind this anonymity is to give "Jack" more of an everyman quality. Do not be deceived. "Jack" is really Calvin from the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. It’s true. Norton portrays the grown-up version of Calvin, while Brad Pitt plays his imaginary pal, Hobbes, reincarnated as Tyler Durden.

Part I: The Hobbes-Tyler Connection

Picture this: a hyper, self-absorbed child initially concocts an imaginary friend as the ideal playmate, to whom more realistic qualities soon become attributed. This phantasm becomes a completely separate personality, with his own likes, dislikes, and temperament—and the imaginer and the imagined clash and argue constantly, though remaining fast friends. This pattern continues to the point where the child begins to perceive what was originally mere fantasy to be reality.

Just as Calvin has an imaginary jungle-animal friend named Hobbes, whom everyone else believes to be nothing but a stuffed toy, "Jack" in Fight Club has an imaginary cool-guy friend named Tyler, whom no one but Jack can see.

In both cases, the entity that began as the ideal companion soon took on a more realistic, three-dimensional quality. In other words, they became real. This is evident in that both Hobbes and Tyler also began to function as scapegoats for their creators. For instance, consider that Calvin often blames broken lamps and other assorted household mischief on Hobbes, and that Jack is inclined to believe that Fight Club and other various anti-society mischief is brought about by Tyler, not himself. Calvin claims Hobbes pounces on him every day after school; Jack believes Tyler beats him up next to 40 kilotons of nitroglycerin in a parking garage—the list goes on and on. The relationships between the two sets of friends are the exact same. Is this mere coincidence?

Filling in the time-gap between Calvin and Jack, we can imagine the story as something like this: Once Calvin reaches the hostile environment known as the seventh grade, the constant teasing from the other students and the frustrated concern of his parents finally becomes too much, and a reluctant, disillusioned Calvin is finally forced to grow up, or at least begin to. This decision is sealed by one of the hardest things young Calvin will ever have to do in his life: un-imagine Hobbes, an act which to Calvin is essentially no different from murder. After being Calvin’s best friend for over a decade, Hobbes is packed away in a box, or tossed carelessly into a garbage bag, perhaps even stuffed under the same bed that once contained so many monsters. This is all, of course, very painful for Calvin, so much so that he represses it all in shame. Little does Calvin suspect that while he is busy growing up, deciding what "dinette set defines him as a person," Hobbes is also maturing in the recesses of his mind, waiting to be unleashed at an appropriate time.

It’s worth noting that during these twenty or so years, Hobbes never bears a grudge against Calvin nor wishes any ill upon him. Hobbes, remembering the depth of their past friendship, does not hate Calvin but rather hates the society that made Calvin put him away. Hobbes, residing in Calvin’s mind, sees and experiences all that Calvin does—and truly despises all of it. He witnesses a bright, superbly imaginative kid (with a genius-level vocabulary) reduced to nothing more than another nameless cog. Fighting off the tears wept for his conventionalized pal, Hobbes resolves to set Calvin free, paying special attention when Calvin idly looks up homemade-napalm recipes on the Internet.

Flash forward to the timeframe depicted in Fight Club. Calvin/Jack has reached an all-time low. He has done everything society has told him to do but is completely void of happiness. Hobbes, newly adjusted as "Tyler Durden" (after all, grown-up Calvin would no longer accept a jungle animal walking, talking, and eating canned tuna), re-enters Calvin/Jack’s life, determined to show Calvin everything he’s done wrong, whether he likes it or not.

Tyler to Jack: "I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I’m smart, capable, and most importantly, I’m free in all the ways you wish you could be."

Calvin has always idolized Hobbes. In Weirdos From Another Planet, he dresses up like a tiger and attempts to live in the woods. Like Hobbes, Tyler is cool, collected, and incredibly cerebral. Given this evidence, one can conclude that Tyler is Hobbes, reincarnated after being trapped inside Calvin/Jack’s brain for so many years. Just as Calvin is Jack, Hobbes is Tyler.

Part II: Marla Singer—Avatar of Susie Derkins?

Somewhere between the end of high school and beginning of college, uptight, grade-obsessed Susie Derkins lost her way. The pressure to get good grades, the pressure to succeed, simply became too much for her, and she snapped.

Free from the protective bonds of her parents’ guidance and the bland safety of her suburban home, Susie loses her moral bearings entirely and sinks into a dark, seamy, grim world of sex, drugs, and eccentric Albert-Einstein-like hair. Her transformation is so complete that she no longer even remotely resembles the upright citizen that her parents and society wanted her to be: thus, she changes her name.

Like Calvin, Susie has become a misfit, one of society’s lost lambs. It is for this reason that she soon finds herself frequenting support groups such as "Remaining Men Together." Fate has brought her back to Calvin, whom she probably spurned back in junior high. But the two have changed so much that they no longer recognize each other!

The pink dress Marla wears in one scene slightly resembles something that "Binky Betsy," Susie’s favorite childhood doll, once wore: the doll that Calvin stole and attempted to ransom. While Calvin and Susie mostly teased and tortured each other, Hobbes was infatuated with the raven-haired beauty. Accordingly, Jack despises Marla, whereas Tyler takes an *ahem* sort of interest in her (definitely inappropriate for the Sunday Funnies).

When we are first introduced to Marla, she is but a tumor on Jack’s slowly deteriorating world. She is disenfranchised, morbid, socially apathetic—and Jack despises her because she is a mirror image of himself, his own female double. On the other hand, Calvin hates Susie because she is his exact opposite: Bright, obedient, demure—the unruly Calvin has every reason to hate her. However, certain strips definitely infer that Calvin has somewhat of a crush on Susie, and some even imply that Susie shares these latent feelings. But as a cootie-fearing grade-schooler, Calvin may only express these strange feelings through attention-getting antagonisms such as constant snowballs to the head, ransoming her dolls—and through his separate, conveniently more mature other personality—Hobbes.

Unlike Calvin, Hobbes has never been bashful about showing his affection for Susie. Calvin’s imaginary tiger-friend has called her a "cutie," worn swim jams to impress her ("Girls flip for guys in jams"), and even claimed he would betray their club’s secret code if she gave him a tummy rub (which is one of the key differences between Tyler and Hobbes). Naturally, all of this confuses and frustrates Calvin beyond words, even though Hobbes is really nothing more than a product of his own mind! And though Hobbes and Susie never consummated their love for each other (he’s a stuffed tiger and she’s a kid, you sicko!) this is, of course, the exact same deranged love-triangle that is shared between Jack, Tyler, and Marla, or at least a natural progression thereof. Perhaps Marla puts up with Jack/Tyler’s apparent nonsense for so long, because it’s the sort of thing she became used to as a child? And perhaps, in the end, Jack finds solace in Marla because it’s the exact same connection he should’ve made long ago, in his suburban youth. A connection that may have saved them both.

Part III: GROSS—Precursor of Fight Club

When you boil it down, the Fight Club that Jack and Tyler start is really just an odd sort of boys’ club—no ovaries allowed—where men can be men, and the so-called stronger of the sexes can take solace in the fact that, even in our politically correct times, some exclusivities of manhood still remain. (As a side note, imagine how much more controversy the movie would have generated if it involved scenes of men fighting women on equal ground!)

And clubs like this, of course, have their beginnings in backyards, tree houses, and garages all over America. Not surprisingly, Calvin started such a club when he was six years old. Little did anyone realize that he would construct another one much later in his life, again with the aid of an imaginary friend. For just as Calvin, Hobbes, and Susie have dark future versions in Jack, Tyler, and Marla respectively, G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) has the same in Fight Club.

G.R.O.S.S. shares the following characteristics with Fight Club:

• Both have catchy names (although the "slimy" part of G.R.O.S.S. is redundant, otherwise it doesn’t spell anything).
• Both are co-run by a friendless male and his imaginary companion (Calvin is Tyrant and Dictator-for-Life; Hobbes is President and First Tiger).
• Both are exclusively male organizations, although Fight Club’s membership is considerably larger.
• Along with that, all members of both organizations are very loyal.
• The leaders of both organizations constantly engage in fisticuffs (but only in G.R.O.S.S. does a member receive a demerit for biting).
• And in said fights, in both organizations, there is only one fight at a time!
• Both are supposedly very secretive (though Jack never tells his mother about Fight Club).
• At least one leader of both organizations is fond of giving speeches (though Calvin never uses the term "space monkey").

G.R.O.S.S. and Fight Club both wreak havoc on their respective neighborhoods (G.R.O.S.S.’s target is considerably more focused, i.e., Susie). Clearly, the roots of Fight Club can be seen in G.R.O.S.S. Calvin shows his penchant for such male-oriented, destructive organizations. Also, just like cardboard-box-time-machines and water-gun-transmogrifiers, G.R.O.S.S. was likely created as an escape, a release—as, of course, was Fight Club.

Part IV: Moe Develops Karmic Bitch-Tits

Robert "Moe" Paulson, Calvin’s grade-school bully, becomes a six-time weight-lifting champion, and somewhere along the line develops large man-boobs as a result of testicular cancer. This of course leads him to his support group, where he is shocked to find Calvin.

Moe greatly regrets his bullying days, but, too ashamed to reveal his true identity to Calvin, he instead offers his ample bosom for him to cry on, as a measure of retribution.

Part V: The Root of Evil

Although we’ve already learned of the fates of Hobbes, Susie, and Moe, there are a couple of other people important to Calvin that are missing. People that are even more integral to his development than (arguably) Hobbes: his parents. Mr . . . uhm . . . , and Mrs . . . uh. . . . Okay, so they don’t have names. But then again, there is no need to know them. Because in the comic strip, they’re not supposed to be important characters in their own right. They only matter in regards to how Calvin is directly effected by them; an effect which, by the time of the film, doesn’t seem to have been very positive. From what "Jack" mentions, he’s not exactly close to his parents, particularly his dad, on whom he seems to pin many of his problems. And this matches perfectly with the relationship depicted in the comic, as well as with what happened afterwards (in Part I).

Calvin’s dad seems to have done quite a number on his son. As stated, it was probably at his urging that Calvin "grew up," that is, finally started to conform to society’s rules, which was the death of Hobbes. Of course, his father wasn’t without his playful side—good-naturedly teasing Calvin at every opportunity—but perhaps this is why "Jack" resents him so much. Maybe after Jack reached the end of his dutiful journey, only to find emptiness, he thought back to the day his father told him that the sun sets down somewhere in Arizona every night. "Maybe," thought Calvin, "maybe ALL of it’s been just another one of Dad’s cruel jokes."

In the "bathtub" scene of Fight Club, "Jack" and Tyler discuss their woeful parents. In this scene, crucial information is revealed, as well as some inconsistencies. "Jack" claims his father left when he was six, an age when Calvin’s dad was obviously still around, but this statement is contradicted soon after, when Tyler mentions his own dad telling him to get married when he was thirty, to which "Jack" responds, "mine said that too." The self-pitying "Jack" is most likely seeking to garner additional sympathy from his newfound friend by making his childhood sound worse than it actually was.

But even more interesting is Tyler’s hostility towards his father: when "Jack" asks him who he would fight, if he could fight anyone, he answers, "I’d fight my father." But, since Tyler is only a figment of Jack’s imagination, we can only assume he’s referring to Jack’s father. And while this hatred would only make sense given that the two are sharing the same brain, why is it that Tyler seems to hate Jack’s father even more vividly than "Jack" himself does? Maybe it’s because Tyler hasn’t forgotten who’s ultimately responsible for the un-imagining that took place years before . . . maybe he’s still not too happy about it . . . and maybe he’s got some pretty good ideas for revenge.

The role of Calvin’s father in all of this is no small one. Other than to "save" Calvin, it’s entirely possible that Tyler’s real motivation for taking down civilization is simply to get back at Calvin’s father. For by destroying the society that forced Calvin into repressing Hobbes, he’s also destroying the society that Calvin’s father, after all, epitomizes. And this of course allows Hobbes an indirect measure of revenge.

Part VI: Calvin—"I Am Jack’s Lost Youth"

Although the personality differences between Calvin in the comic strip and Calvin in the movie are pretty large, it can be explained as easily as taking Id and introducing him to Superego ("Jack" actually seems to have sort of a Super-Superego). Nearly all people go through the same thing when first confronted with the crushing grind of reality. But, as they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall—and in terms of imagination and dreams, Calvin was a giant.

Still, it’s not as though common traits between Calvin-Calvin and Jack-Calvin can’t be identified at all. Besides a preference for imaginary friends over real ones, and an inability to express affection for girls, Calvin has never done well when forced to play by any sort of rules. Take, for instance, his utter inability in any sort of organized sport, compared to his unbridled joy while playing the make-it-up-as-you-go-along "Calvinball." Furthermore, even at age 6 Calvin never exactly thrived in stifling, authoritarian establishments (i.e., school), and he’s always had clashes with authority figures since the strip began (his parents, the doctor, his teacher, Rosalyn)—which actually may have initially planted the seeds for Tyler. Beyond that, his excellent vocabulary and way with words are still with him in the voice-over narration of Fight Club, and his rampant materialism that started with mail-order propeller-beanies ends with yin-yang shaped tables. As for the differences, they can be credited to the demoralizing effect of reality.

In the end, Calvin’s involvement with Fight Club and return of Hobbes can be boiled down to two words: "Personal Responsibility." For although Fight Club and Project Mayhem were both mostly Tyler’s doing, by the end of the movie, Jack readily accepts his own part of the blame, as Tyler is his creation. And by doing so, he also accepts responsibility for the undesirable condition of his own life—his father may have pushed him, but Calvin himself was the one who chose to obey. It is through this newfound self-accountability that Calvin/Jack is able to take control of his own life at last. As skyscrapers flash and crumble in the background, and blood oozes from the bullet hole in his head, Calvin says that he is "okay." And we are apt to believe him.

Part VII: Conclusion

Calvin’s world in the comic strip is pure, romanticized idealism, whereas in the movie, he lives in gray, bleak reality. Within the safety of the panel, Calvin is perpetually six years old, terrible things can never happen, and no matter how crazy a stunt he pulls, everything always returns to status quo. Because of this, our hero is free to do as he wishes, free to chase his dreams as wildly as he desires, never having to worry about tomorrow because there essentially will never be one—unless it’s part of a continuing storyline. This makes the reality of Fight Club all the bleaker, because it depicts what happens when you take someone weaned on dreams and limitless possibilities and jam him into a cramped cage confined by rules and regulations. It probably only took poor Calvin a few years in the adult world (or growing-up world) to fully make the sad change.

This transition from gleeful Calvin to dull "Jack" is not uncommon. Little Nemo became a banker, Peter Pan became a lawyer, and Garfield was caught and butchered by the chef of a Chinese restaurant. (One exception is Charlie Brown, who from all indications was mentally middle-aged at the time of his birth.)

The moral of the story is that reality bites, kiddies. Calvin and Hobbes in Fight Club are proof of this sad, sad truth.

All the way!

Just an update!

Life's getting along fine. Work, as usual, is interesting, and makes me feel good about myself. The profiles I am looking for are rare, but am sure I'll get someone or the other for the job. If worse comes to worst, doing law all by myself is not a bad option either.

Its been a long time since I was at home. Infact, haven't even been to Bangalore for almost a month now. Gotta make plans to shoot off to Delhi soon.

Boy-o-boy, the projects that are coming up are massive. But they are catchy too! I need to get some "GOOD" people in the firm for sure, to take care of things when I am not around.

And yes, Investment Banking is the need of the hour - got the point. Soon will venture into this as well.

What's that called - expanding your horizons!

Forgot to mention the interesting conversations I have been having these days. Need to stop wasting that much time. What else would you call it if you exchange 448 mails in a day with someone?

Feeling sleepy right now. Ah! Gotta decide which movie to watch tomorrow.

Words of Wisdom - Constanza

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.

I mean, life is tough.

It takes up a lot of your time.

What do you get at the end of it? A death.

What's that, a bonus?!?

I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!!

Amen.

Girls - Know Guys !

Though I had posted Girl-y crap also, here's for the other sex.

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.

12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!

13. Guys cry!!!

14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.

20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you are asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.

22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

24. Guys hate gays!

25. Guys love their moms.

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

31. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.

32. Guys are very open about themselves.

33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.

34. No guy is bad when he is courting

35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.

37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.

43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

45. Guys think too much.

46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!

48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!

49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.

50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.

51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.

52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never- been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.

53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.

54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.

56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.

57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying "Please come and listen to me"

59. Guys don't really have final decisions.

60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.

62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.

67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.

69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.

72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.

73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.

74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.

75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.

76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.

78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.

79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them,they'll realize they're wrong.

81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.

82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.

83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.

84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.

85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.

86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's criticizing you.

87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.

90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!

92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.

94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

98. Guys hate girls who overreact.

99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

100. Guys tell truth, unless specified!